Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Spiders - Wookin Pa Nub

I’m ok, strangely, with large fuzzy tarantula-type spiders. I say strangely because I am very not ok with many other bugs. Not that I want to find a tarantula in my home, I don’t. But they are easily dissuaded. Don’t want to find a tarantula in your house? Close your door. So much more respectful than so many other bugs.

In AZ, tarantulas come out by the dozens once a year for about a week or so in the summer. It’s pretty shocking to the uninitiated, but then you figure out that they move very slowly, aren’t anywhere but on the ground, and don’t want anything to do with you if you aren’t a pretty girl tarantula. They are also in grave, grave danger.

Because of the tarantula hawks. A tarantula hawk is not a huge, flying, carnivorous spider, but it might as well be (or something that would sound approximately that terrifying) to a tarantula. A tarantula hawk is an overgrown wasp-like bug that wants to do unspeakable things to the tarantulas. I’d speakable them here, but I’d have to use lots of caps and excessive punctuation and my head hurts so I don’t want to. Just know that once you’ve seen one of these bastards dragging a paralyzed tarantula off to it’s own private Tarantino movie, you too will root for the tarantulas.

Eventually, the tarantulas started to look like little animated stuffed animals to me. Just fuzzy little dudes out looking for fuzzy little chicks, completely oblivious to the terrors of the tarantula hawk. I even had my husband relocate one tarantula that wandered into our courtyard so the spider wouldn’t fall prey to all the bug killer I’d put out for the scorpions (regarding scorpions: no redeeming qualities, fuck ‘em).